...Rural Juror

Jury Duty, Day 1:

Intro video depicting medieval torture trials, including extreme close ups on the women and children actors (with muddy faces for authenticity) who are "worried" for the defendant. Then narration about the history of trials by Charles Gibson. Of course they include a montage of Perry Mason clips for inspiration. And then Diane Sawyer to inspire us. Looks like it was filmed circa 1989. Reminder: "if you aren't selected, it doesn't reflect on your integrity or intelligence." Thanks for softening the blow, Diane.

Lauding the beauties of NY jury service:
"450,000 people will serve on a jury in NY. That's nearly half a million people!" (Thank you for clearing that up, Captain Obvious.)

"If we don't hear from you, we follow up! You see, you are extremely valuable to the system!"

"Wouldn't you want an impartial jury judging the facts in your trial?"

The guy next to me keeps giggling, and then I can't stop.

...Foggy Monocle

If this blog were a Gentlemen's blog, it would be: http://thefoggymonocle.com. And this posting neatly sums up how we would meet: http://thefoggymonocle.com/2009/03/26/a-gentleman-and-a-gentlelady-make-explosive-romance/

Soulmate of blogs, thy name is Foggy Monocle.

...Sums it up

There are no words for this brilliant quote, from a brilliant actor, Richard Harris. And I'm gonna dork out here for a second (cuz it's Harry Potter week and I'd be a borderline Harry Potter loser if I didn't love booze, dancing and fashion), he was the better Dumbledore of the HP movie series. We miss yee, good, wise sir.

...What the Band Just Happened?

Seriously, a tuba, drummer (with cow bell) and a horn/megaphone dude just arrived at our bar at 13 and A. They played a set of unintelligible songs, but we rocked it to the max. What else arrived? Lucy brought a giant supply of 5 hour energy (god's gift to sustaining 3 straight nights out on the town) and candy. It's like we're on drugs, but it's adrenaline.

Earlier today we met Zoolander 19-year-old models in Central Park. We asked, "Where do you work?" They said Ford models! I said then that they're Zoolander, complete with token tall Asian model and needed a gasoline fight to Wham! But all of this leads to the brilliance which is Stumblebum Brass Band with drummer/cow bell artist, Johnny Ballz. Should have married him on the spot to become Mrs. Johnny Ballz. Only in my dreams, says Debbie Gibson.

...The Holy Rooftop

Possibly one of the most gorgeous spaces in NYC for a summer lawn party. We sat atop this 7th floor roof garden one night at a party Lucy was invited to. However, we had no idea what the party was being held for? We were seated at Table 1, which sounds prestigious, but was in fact totally empty in the room. All other tables were packed, and we walked up to Table 1 in awkward shame. Trust me, we were not prestigious by this point--just awkward!

Night was rescued by delish cuisine, plenty of white wine spritzers (the new official drink of summer 2009) and a slamming DJ, spinning loads of Michael Jackson, just a few days after his death. Too soon? I say not. And I still cannot stop listening to Man in the Mirror.

Tonight our crew of debaucherousness will be attending "Yo! It's the 90's Party" at the Canal Room. I won 10 free tickets and drink tickets by knowing the answers to the following 90s trivia:
1. Who sings "Poison"? (Bel Biv DeVoe of course!)
2. What year did MC Hammer release "U Can't Touch This"? (1991, although I totally admit to Googling this)
3. What does O.P.P. stand for in Naughty by Nature's song of the same title? (Couldn't have had a better question if I tried! I sat at my portable radio/cassette player in 6th grade and memorized all the lyrics to O.P.P., just as all proper blonde Catholic school girls should do. Here's my A+ answer: "O.P.P. Stands for Other People's Property, which is the only stated definition in the entire song. However it is alluded to as Other People's P*ssy (another way to call a cat a kitten) and Other People's P*nis (another five letter word rhymes with cleanest and meanest)." My question here is: is it possible that I'm a 90s hip-hop nerd??)

Ok, signing off to prep for the show. Blasting some Kriss Kross, 90s Michael Joseph Jackson, Naughty by Nature, Montell Jordan, and a few rounds of Informer by Snow.

...Door

Sitting @ happy hour discussing my friend's recent quitting of his job and breaking up with his boyfriend. We all wonder: "When God closes a door...why doesn't he open another door? A window is smaller!"